i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
