Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
