i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
