You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
