I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
