The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
