My liver just broke up with me...
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
