I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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