I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
