Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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