Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
