The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
