Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
