Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
