"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
