giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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