Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize