I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
