Your tits are I can't wait for
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Sponge bath it is.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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