I have demons in me.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
