Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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