I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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