You did not just play the dead husband card again.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
