turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
We got so high we made milksteak
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize