why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Please don't give away my fajitas
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