So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Randomize
