so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
