if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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