ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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