She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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