Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize