Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize