had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize