So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
