You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
