My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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