i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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