I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
