You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
