Everything about him screamed your future.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
