i think my mom watched the whole time
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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