are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
