Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
