I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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