oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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