Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
