A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Randomize
