ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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