Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
