I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
