Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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