i don't like sucking hair
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
