bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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