Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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