Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
my liver is dry heaving
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
