is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
