I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
